Let’s say that you have been feeling a sense of subtle discontent occurring in your relationship? If so, good for you for noticing!
Now, what are you going to do about it?
You could ignore it … and hope that it resolves itself. Of course, few constructive solutions spring from a problem-situation that “resolves itself”!
You could think deeply about what has been going on recently. You could then try to brainstorm how this sense of dis-ease and discontent relates to recent events. You could try to think about the situation from your partner’s point of view … and see if you receive inspiration from this.
You could ask yourself if the discontent is springing from you. If you discover that it is, you can then address the situation directly … and deal with these feelings constructively from within yourself.
If you are unaware of the discontent stemming from within you, you could talk with your partner about it. When you address your partner, you do not have to KNOW the details about what is going on. You can simply report your observations to your partner and see whether s/he has some information that could help.
So, you might say something like, “Sweetheart, I’ve been noticing a vague sense of discontent in our interactions. It does not feel comfortable to me and it’s not a feeling that I’m used to having with you. Have you felt it, too? Do you have any idea where it’s coming from?”
Then, you and your partner can brainstorm about what is behind the feeling. This brainstorming can be powerful in getting to the bottom of what has been happening. You can, then, begin to outline a plan to get the feelings resolved and your relationship back “on track”!
